“Can we talk?”

"Can we talk?"

Three simple words can make a difference in a student's troubled life

Tanya Jorgensen

Junior high and high school can be a challenging time for youth. Add to it mental illness, or multiple illnesses, and the challenges only increase. This was the case for me and many other youth that I know.

What began as depression developed into anxiety and an eating disorder, self-mutilation and thoughts of suicide and finally, following graduation from high school, borderline personality disorder.

I received little assistance in junior high and high school. Little to no information about mental health in schools existed then, so no one really understood what was happening to me. My teachers expressed their concerns to my family. Some teachers supported me and listened to me, but others dismissed my despair as attention-seeking behaviour or lack of appreciation for what I had in life.

At that time, a stigma was associated with mental illness.I was hospitalized twice while in Grades 11 and 12. The first hospitalization saw me out of school for a month. Reintegrating into the school system following a hospitalization is frustrating, scary and extremely difficult. Rumours circle while a student is away. Falling behind in courses is discouraging, especially when you return to school not much more stable than when you left.

After the second time I was hospitalized, I did not return to school—a choice made by my parents and a psychiatrist (who knew little about me). I was in my final semester of school and about to graduate with my peers. I was terrified that I wouldn't graduate, but my teachers worked closely with me to ensure that I would graduate on time. My work was sent to my home and I had a tutor. I went to school to write exams and attended classes whenever I could.

Most importantly, teachers encouraged me and listened. One teacher, in particular, encouraged me throughout my final semester in school when I felt unsupported by everyone else. I was allowed to come in after school hours and talk about school, I was permitted to cry because I was frustrated and I was encouraged to ease up on my expectations for myself.

The year after I graduated, I spoke to one of my former high school teachers about my illness. It was probably the most meaningful conversation that I'd had with anyone up to that point. Although the conversation lasted only 15 minutes, we talked about how things were going, about my diagnosis and what I needed in order to recover. That short conversation made all the difference in how I looked at my life and what I wanted to achieve.

Many teachers were a huge part of my support system. Just knowing that they were there to listen and that it was safe to talk to them without being judged was enough. Some students do not receive support from their families. That's why a teacher can be a lifeline.

It's okay for teachers to ask students how things are going. It shows they care about students, that they are important and noticed and not just another face in the classroom. It may be beneficial to sit down with a student and with his or her parents to discuss how best to provide support. Support can take the form of being permitted to write exams in a separate room, being granted extensions on assignments ­(depending on the nature of the illness) or being permitted to take breaks during class time to clear one's head. I encourage teachers to find out what the student wants and how he or she wants to be supported. One of the most important and beneficial things anyone can do, however, is to ask a student how he or she is doing. The following three words can make all the difference in a student's life: "Can we talk?"

Today, I'm pleased to report that I've learned to manage my illness. I am completing my first year of social work at Red Deer College and sit on the Youth Council for the Mental Health Commission of Canada.

This article first appeared in Volume 44 Number 15 of the ATA News.

Tanya Jorgensen shares her thoughts in regards to Mental Heath as well as her personal journey through recovery on her blog, "She files with her own wings."